Help Me With My Children’s Book (Please)

I have just finished up my rough draft of Mr. Topper’s Fabulous Funtown. Before I even think about publishing it I would love to have some “beta readers.” This is simply some people willing to read the book and give constructive criticism and advice. I need you to answer a few questions, like “does this book make sense?”, “do you like the characters,” etc. No reviews yet as it is still in it’s infant stage and has some growing up to do. It is not a Christian book, but it is an allegory that reflects Christian principles. Here is a short description of the book and the first chapter.

Mr. Topper’s Fabulous Funtown
Funtown is a place of every child’s dreams and Mr. Topper’s world of merry-go-rounds and magic is the place they want to go. But all that glitters is not gold and Funtown is not what it seems. Who is Tinker and what can he do to help? Jayde and her friends must find Tinker and the truth about Mr. Topper to free Funtown.

Mr. Mr. Topper’s Fabulous Funtown

“All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told:
Many a man his life hath sold
But my outside to behold:
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
Had you been as wise as bold,
Young in limbs, in judgment old
Your answer had not been inscroll’d
Fare you well, your suit is cold.”
~William Shakespear
Merchant of Venice

Chapter 1
All That Glitters is Not Gold
There was never a town like Funtown, and likely will never be again. It was every little boy and girl’s dream. Shiny, sparkly, noisy, flashy, extravagant and fabulous! Mr. Mr. Topper, the founder of Funtown was well spoken of in many a household. “What a marvelous man!” some would say, “A genius!” said others. After all he was the one who created Funtown, planned it, built it, paid for it, Mr. Mr. Topper was Funtown.
Parents used the wonderful, beautiful town to bribe their children for weeks, months and sometime years. “You better be good, or you will not be invited to Funtown” threatened parents, or “If you are good, you may get an invitation from Mr. Popper.” So every child dreamed of Funtown, of that beautiful invitation, of lights and whirls of color, of the big merry-go-round with the music and horses, of the big top and the shows. Of course, if you had enough money, if your parents were wealthy, if you had private tutors and servants, and had a long line of illustrious ancestors behind you, you could simply go to Funtown (at a price). But even some of those children, the ones who didn’t require an invitation to go, still hoped for one, could still receive one, proving they were especially good, or gifted. Yes, the children dreamed of going, and played ‘Funtown’ on recess, and if you listened closely, you would hear children discussing their desire to go.
“I want to live there,” said one especially young little one.
“Nobody lives in Funtown,” corrected an older little one.
“Who takes care of it?” asked another.
“Nobody takes care of it…its magic,” answered a voice filled with awe.
This was always met with “ooohs and aaaahs” by the others.
Mr. Mr. Topper knew about these outrageous stories and rumors. Of course he did, after all, he was the one who started them, and went to great pains to make sure that they continued to be told, were whispered into the ears of all little girls and boys. Sometimes even he began to believe it was magic. When things were going smoothly, when all was shiny and glittered in the night, lit by gas lamps and lights. He would walk through his town and forget about the work, the trouble, and the unpleasant tasks behind all of the sparkle. At those times, he saw himself as a friend, a benefactor to the people, a generous ‘Uncle’ to all who came to escape their dreary lives.
But there were some, a few, who knew who Mr. Mr. Topper really was, and what Funtown really was. For all that glitters is not gold…

If you are interested, or you think your middle grade children may be, please leave a comment with contact information. I can email you a pdf version of the book.
Thanks in advance for the help.


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